The Arik Network: ANN
Shades of grey.
Posted 6/12/2001
For some time now I got a feeling that everything
around me is collapsing.
The world lookes at me and I look at it with a shade
of grey.
This bad feeling erupted lately.
Nothing seems to be working, the situation goes from
bad to worse.
During the last couple of days or weeks every morning
I wake up is a begining of another bad day.
Nothing good happened to me during the last couple
of month.
Maby it's the echo from one of my father's speaches
that this year (according to an achient horoscop) is not my year,
or maby it's the general situation, I don't know, the fact is that
my situation is deteriorating.
3 month ago I sold my old car.
That day I recieved a promise from my mother that
if I will study, after three month she will buy me a new and better
car.
I did study, I've put up alot of effort and brought
back good results but it wasen't enough.
Many fights have erupted home because of this issue,
and today it seems that my dream of a new car will have to wait
at least until spring.
I also failed on one of my computers bagruyot last
year and this year I will have to re-write the test.
All my efforts to challange the low grade were met
with a failure.
The situation with my friends is also in one of it's
lowest levels I can remember.
Cre8, and all my hopes for success in computers ended
two month ago.
My new efforts seem to be too little and too late.
During the last couple of weeks I often argued and
fought with my friends on a set of issues.
Those who used to be my best friends seem to abandon
me for others.
Please note that when I say 'those' I do not mean
all of them, I just don't want to offend anyone.
I can't remember the last time I spoke with Yony,
and maby the saddest and worst fact: I don't have
a girlfriend.
Please don't see this article as me crying and begging
for help, I am not.
I will handle this situation and will do anything
in my powers to make it better.
The last thing I will do is give up.
----
Indeed this has not been my year.
A cold feeling is around, and the world lookes darker
then ever.
I hope and pray that the future will be alot better
and I will be able to cope with this new situation.
Shades of grey.
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